When Your Baby Dies
Monday, October 15, 2012
Labels:
Baby,
Grateful,
Joseph Mary,
Miscarriage,
The Culture of Life,
Theology
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23 comments
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So, so, SO beautiful, Mary. This really made me cry. I am so sorry about your sweet little Joseph Mary. I have a friend that I am going to forward this to. Thank you.
ReplyDeletethis is beautiful, Mary! i was thinking the same thing, i have two wonderful friends who have lost babies.....what a Cross, silent suffering....i have a brother who is with your Joseph Mary....know that i am praying for you and look forward to all of us being reunited one day in Heaven.
DeleteOh Mary so beautiful! We will join u on remembering all those babies who have died and now reside with our Lord in heaven. I can't wait to meet our first child someday and all my nieces/nephews who join our little one. As we rejoice with the birth of our newest little one, we will never forget those we never got to meet but hope to someday in heaven.
ReplyDeleteYou have me in tears. Just yesterday I was thinking of your little one, Kelly's little one, Erin's little one....
ReplyDeleteYou remind me SO MUCH of my friend here - Mindy - she wrote about her Riley Jordan earlier today...
http://sweetsmallstuff.blogspot.com/2012/10/remembering-riley.html
Beautiful Mary, God bless you and Joseph Mary.
ReplyDeleteMary this was so beautiful - lifting up all those who have lost a child today, God Bless you and your family :)
ReplyDeleteYou have me in tears. So beautiful! I'm sorry for your loss, and I'm sure it was incredibly difficult, but thank you for sharing.
ReplyDeleteThank you so much for sharing. The words of one who has lost a child helps others know how to respond when another woman loses a child. I only wish I had known before. We will light a candle tonight next to our picture of Joseph Mary.
ReplyDeleteLove
Gandma & Grumpy
Mary, I can barely write this because of the tears your beautiful, inspirational words have caused. You have such a gift for expressing the deepest emotions of the heart and I know that your words will touch many profoundly. I will light a candle tonight for my 5 siblings and 3 grandchildren who are in Heaven waiting for me to hold & rock someday. Thank you for sharing your soul & heart. Love you!
ReplyDeleteI cant barely type because Im crying so much! I love you Mary! You are such an inspiration for me. I cant wait until the day when I can meet my nieces and nephews that are up in heaven! It will be such a joyous and happy day! We have a candle lit for each of them and an extra one for all the other families that are going through this. I love you!
ReplyDeleteThis is so very beautiful Mary. I am so sorry for your loss and I'm so grateful for your words. It's great to have direction in that area... God Bless you and your beautiful family. ALL of you!
ReplyDeleteWhat an inspiring and lovely post. I have always felt guilt when someone has a miscarriage and I have 5 healthy children...why them? why not me? This was so touching to read and answered some of my questions that I would never want to ask. Thank you.
ReplyDeleteYou know, the more I read your blog the more I realize how much we have in common. I too, carried the cross of early miscarriage for 6 years. I have 5 children in heaven spaced between my oldest and middle child. Looking back, I realize how much growing up I had to do and how much I grew because of the cross that Our Lord allowed me to carry with Him. Your post would have been such a consolation for me during that time and I'm beginning to ponder if maybe I should use my blog as platform to share with other women my experience to reach out to others like us how maybe had to suffer in silence. Thank you for reaching out to me and others like me with your heartfelt words.
ReplyDeleteP.S.- I had home births, I homeschool, and I hope to one day homestead...in case you are wondering about our similarities. ;-). Of course, I've been meaning to correspond with you about home birthing as I've been told I can no longer have one.
Thank you so much. I'm humbled that my little words could be of some comfort to people. And birth? Totally. Send me a note anytime! It's only my favorite topic in the world :)
DeleteAbsolutely beautiful post.
ReplyDeleteYou miscarriage sounds much like mine - 10 weeks, baby passed a few weeks earlier, passed the baby on your own. I didn't have an ultrasound until after the baby passed though, so all I saw was an empty womb. We already had our ultrasound scheduled for "dating" because the size of my uterus was measuring small at my first appointment earlier that week (which was a heads up for me that something was wrong because I use NFP and even though I wasn't charting very closely the month we got pregnant, I would have been shocked if I was two weeks off like my uterus was measuring). When we went in for the ultrasound, the ultrasound tech was so excited for us and told us where "daddy can sit to see the baby" because she thought we were just there for dating. It hurt so much to tell her that we were just there to check if "anything" was left. It really hurts to stare at your empty womb on the screen.
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry for your loss. How long did it take before the pain wasn't so sharp and you stopped crying all the time?
Mandi, I'm so sorry you're going through this. I remember crying a lot. Much more in the first few weeks but it was probably a good few months before every little thing didn't remind me. I remember probably three weeks later just calling my sister who had also gone through a miscarriage and not even being able to get any words out and just crying. It was so good for her to just be there on the other end of the line even though she didn't say anything. We were blessed with conceiving Michael about two months later so that did help a bit, if only if some of my energy grieving was now spent worrying. But it did take a long time for the rawness to wear off and I didn't feel at peace until we were able to finally get the gravestone in which took far too long. It does get "better." I will never ever forget Joseph Mary but that bleeding raw heart feeling does leave over time. At least for me. I read over this post the other day and it did make me cry but not the gut-wrenching sobs from when it was all still new. I can even say now that I'm grateful that his death taught me how to love others better, to appreciate the gift of my children that much more, and I am so grateful that God took something ugly and brought three beautiful lives out of it that would never have been here otherwise. Praying for you.
DeleteI'm so sorry for your loss. I also lost 2 babies. This tab on your blog inspires me to do something similar on mine. I would like to write something similar.
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry, Kim. It really really helps to write it out so I'd definitely encourage you to do it!
DeleteI lost a baby last month at 12 weeks. I still don't know if the baby's body was lost in the public restroom where the miscarriage started, or in the ER when the doctor found "tissue" during an exam and whisked it immediately off to pathology. I was hemorrhaging, otherwise I would have tried to go home. I never got to see the baby, and don't know where the baby's body is. How I wish I had been able to bury the baby's body. I am now left struggling with a way to celebrate or preserve the memory of my child's short life. We named our baby Hannah Paige.
ReplyDeleteOh, Evelyn. I'm so so sorry. That must be so heart wrenching for you. You did the best you could do at a very emotional and difficult time. Maybe still having a stone or place in memory of Hannah would be helpful? There are still other ways that can be very very helpful to remember and honor your baby, though. If you're interested, I have a little more on that here: http://www.betterthaneden.com/2013/10/honoring-life-in-midst-of-grief-how-to.html
DeleteI'm so sorry for the loss of Hannah and I hope I get to meet her someday. I'll be praying for you. Hannah Paige, please pray for your mama and family here below.
I could only read a few lines Mary, I am sure it's a wonderful article. I need to pluck up more courage. I had my miscarriage ten years ago but everything is still fresh
ReplyDeleteI'm so very sorry for your loss, Eunice. We always remember no matter how long ago it was. There's certainly no need to read if it wouldn't be helpful for you <3
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