"WHY did I have to go and post this on the INTERNET??"
I bemoaned to my husband.
You know those people who talk about how amazing they feel when they are running or exercising or whatever? Or how they get that high afterwards? I have a theory:
They're lying.
See, if you start running or exercising and you hear someone say how much they love it and feel so alive and crave it, then you start to feel like you should to. And so you say that's how you feel, even though you feel like screaming while you're running "what is WRONG with me? I'm going to DIE. This sucks!" But instead of saying that out loud you don your cute little running pants and your serene running face (at least until minute seven or so) and your ear buds and you pretend you're one of them. Although I have a feeling I'm not fooling any one of my neighbors who may happen to spy me from out of their windows.
Well, I'm here to break this cycle of deceit. It is so not fun. In fact, it does suck. And I totally would've quit by now if I hadn't gotten all motivated and spiritual and stuff and told everyone about it.
I'm only on week three. WEEK THREE of this Couch to 5K thing. I am such a wimp. The first couple of times I was like, SO on it. I got this and I am a running machine. Then it started to stink. And hurt. And it has been so hard finding times to go. Really, the last thing I want to do when the husband gets home from work and I've had a day of schooling, feeding, refereeing, nursing, cleaning, diapering, babywalking, disciplining, etc. is go out into the cold and run. And then I went and messed up my knee. So I want to give up but I feel like I can't since I went and blabbered to the world about this silly goal of mine.
BUT. But I realized this evening as I was gasping and my heart was throbbing and my lungs were aching during that whole three minutes of jogging three minutes of walking (repeat) bit that I need to reassess. Because I came to the enlightened realization that if the reason I am staying with it is because I told people about it and don't want to embarrass myself, well then, that, my friends is a form of pride. Am I right? And I certainly don't want to put myself in a near occasion of sin and all. So the most spiritually profound and edifying thing I could do right now is to quit. That way I would be exercising humility and strengthening virtue and avoiding the awful sin of pride. Right?
Right?
Oh. It doesn't work that way?
Well, then. Pray for me.
I've been trying to love running for 5 years now....it wasn't until YESTERDAY (I kid you not) that I used the words LOVE and RUNNING in the same sentence (without using the word NOT). So in 5 years you might enjoy it.
ReplyDeleteKeep it up - it's always good to challenge yourself!
I'm giggling. Sort of a lot. :)
ReplyDeleteUgh. After every baby (and several months of boobies so enormous that no running could possibly occur) I start running again. And every time it feels like my lungs are filled with jello and my heart is a 26 lb. rock. It sucks. But then laaaaaaaaaaaaaaaater, like, months and months and perhaps even a year later (I know. How hopeful does that make you?) it starts to feel like you're not going to die and that you might even like it. A little.
ReplyDeleteDon't give up!